Material Girl

I think that watching so much TV is making me depressed. Suddenly I am desperate for new clothes, better furniture, more food. None of these things are in my budget. Living beyond my means is really starting to get to me. I see no way out of the predicament of struggling along, trying to make ends meet, with no capital left for fun.

Once money becomes an overpowering source of stress, everything else seems to loom larger.

I said I was ok with not having kids, but this past week I have been panicking about that very thing. Is this a biological clock response to age, or am I talking myself into worrying about things? Or is it just the flood of hormones that accompanies the moon phases?

Money bugs me. I hate that it can affect my mood, steal my sleep, knot my stomach. Even when I try to be responsible, I still have to borrow money from my parents more than once a month.

Life and its tedium is under my skin this week, I have slipped into desperate cougar mode; I want a husband and I have no idea where to start. The first step is "getting out" more, but I don't even know where I would go and getting out is too expensive anyway.

FUCK.